


You don't have to say I Love You to say I Love You

by emmastrenchcoat



Category: British YouTube - Fandom, Stephen Tries, Video Blogging RPF, WillNE, XO - Fandom
Genre: First Time, Fluff, M/M, Sort Of, editing, idk - Freeform, kiss, sleepover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 10:49:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14999288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmastrenchcoat/pseuds/emmastrenchcoat
Summary: Will's thoughts were incoherent, as the feeling of Stephen's lips pressing firmly and purposefully against his own rendered him a slave to passion. They forgot about time or their intention to go home only until they'd kissed so much that their cheeks were flushed bright red and their lips were plump and parted, allowing for air to be sucked into their lungs as fast as possible so that they could do it again.-----This fic was based on a suggestion, so thank you so much to who made it!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Any comments or feedback seriously appreciated! Thank you to everyone who's been reading my work! x

"Right okay", Will concluded the latest XO shoot, "so all of our links will be in the description below", he continued, motioning to where the viewer would later see the description. 

He waffled on for a bit before the four men decided that the ending would be sufficient once edited. 

"So, I've got a train to catch in...", Laurence started, jumping a bit when looking at his watch, "seven and a half minutes. I've really got to go. Have fun editing, Will!" 

The mentioned scowled and pretended to be upset, though sincerely wished Laurence lots of fun as he exited the studio. It was true that Laurence was usually the one to edit the XO videos- he had a magic touch when it came to picking the right angles at the right time, and besides, he was the only one who wasn't also running his own channel- however, he temporarily resigned from the position as he was spending the weekend with his girlfriend. 

Will thus immediately volunteered to take over. Both Brian and Stephen were slightly surprised at the sudden enthusiasm, though Will waved it off as just wanting Laurence to have a stress-free time with his loved one, sneakily adding that he was the only decent editor within the remaking trio anyway. The other two laughed, and thought nothing more of it. 

Will had only told a lie. Sort of. Indeed he wanted Laurence to be happy with someone he held dear to his heart, but he never explained why. If he did, he knew that it would end badly, for the reason he was so passionate about others loving purely was that he couldn't let himself love freely; yes, he was in love with a friend. Unrequited love had never been fun in his experience, but he knew that this time it was worse than ever before, for the person that he loved was none other than his best mate. 

Stephen. 

Will sighed as he drifted back into the familiar daydream whenever he heard that name with a bit of peace around him. The way Stephen laughed never ceased to make him smile uncontrollably; his heart ached and yearned to brush his hands through that golden hair- especially now that it was soft and wavy and not in a stiff quiff- with every time he watched Stephen fix or readjust it with his own hands. In fact, Will wanted to touch Stephen everywhere, exploring his small frame in every way. Perhaps it was the rare occasion of Stephen's exposed legs, or even the one time he saw him shirtless, that drove him crazy, though he knew it was more than a physical attraction, more than just a crush. 

After having convinced himself for years in his youth that it was nothing about boys that intrigued him more than the next person, that he was solely attraction to girls and their features, Will caved into his feelings when he met the ginger boy. Stephen broke him in the best and worst ways. Will felt more free than ever, learning to accept who he was slowly; nonetheless, he had a thorn in his heart, one that grew and squirmed its way through Will's body with every look at Stephen. On particular occasions- most of them actually, but Will refused to go as far as admit that to himself- it would wrap itself around Will's stomach and up to his lungs, leaving him breathless and slightly queasy. Despite these feelings, he was on a cloud of carefree joy simultaneously, and his days were filled with love for flowers and leaves and wind and orange skies...

It was confusing. 

"Will?" Stephen asked softly, cocking his head sideways as he looked at Will. 

"Hm? Sorry, I must have drifted off." Will replied sheepishly, averting his eyes to the table at which they were still sitting; he didn't like being caught in daydreams. 

Stephen laughed, creases forming at the corners of his beautiful eyes. His body moving slightly, Will observed every movement of his chest as he in- and exhaled. The former shook his head. What was he doing? This was ridiculous; sure, he'd been fancying Stephen for more time than he usually would before making move, but it was a relationship that wasn't possible. Not ever. He sighed again at this re-realisation. 

"Will you're doing it again. Y'alright? You weren't this out of it during the shoot just now." 

At this second reminder of reality's existence Will blushed, and was unable to answer. 

"Justtiredsorry", he mumbled, still intensely focusing on the table, then a bit more confidently, "where's Brian anyway?" 

Stephen chuckled again. God, he was gorgeous. 

"Well that's what I wanted to tell you! He left just now to go do something, I don't remember. Guess my memory's just as shit as my new haircut. Pathetic!" 

Stephen threw his hands up into the air in a rather comical manner, which made Will laugh, interrupting his retort to Stephen's comment about his haircut. Perhaps expressing his affection for the change would have been obvious. Either way, Will made his way over to the sofa that was just out of shot in most XO videos. 

As he removed the SD cards from the cameras and plugged them into his laptop, he motioned for Stephen to come over. 

"I need moral support for this", he excused his request for Stephen's close presence.

Maybe, he thought, maybe an excuse wasn't even necessary, as Stephen swiftly walked over and plopped himself right next to the brunet. Will's heart made a great leap in his chest, though he managed to focus on processing the raw footage in front of him. 

Stephen sat next to him patiently, sometimes looking over his shoulder to check Will's progress or make a remark. 

When Will yawned and stretched, Stephen checked the time and exclaimed in surprise when he discovered that it was already 8 o'clock. 

"Oh shag a shellfish!", he said, still managing to retain his humorous persona- an ability that Will would always admire- as he explained to him that he'd missed his train back home. 

Admittedly, this made Will happy. Not that fact that Stephen was marginally upset, but that he could offer for him to stay over. 

It's a perfectly normal gesture. They're just two friends, staying in a flat together- hell, they wouldn't even be sleeping in the same bed (as much as Will had fantasised about that). 

"You could stay over at mine. Only if you want to, of course. I don't want to force you into anything-" Will cut himself off from rambling on. How on earth hadn't Stephen already clocked that Will was so desperate for him? Well, perhaps it was the fact that he managed to be normal around the boy when others were present. After all, he hadn't told anyone about that secret of his. 

It was only ever when they were alone that Will found it so hard to contain the urge to confess to Stephen, to kiss him, hold hands, anything.

"Thank you, Will!" Stephen exclaimed, obviously relieved. 

"Aye of course", Will smiled, cheeks reddening, despite the chilly temperature in the room, "let me just finish this part, alright? I'll be done soon". 

Stephen nodded, but turned off his phone, instead looking over at Will's shoulder again. Why it made him to nervous to be watched editing, Will didn't know, but his heart was racing as he could hear Stephen's breathing faintly next to him; he could almost feel the heat radiating off of his body into the cooling room. As nighttime was rapidly approaching, the only light source (and seemingly the only source of warmth, too) was Will's laptop. 

The man only noticed this when the one next to him began to shiver ever so slightly. Stephen drew his arms closer to his chest, and brought his knees up as well. Almost as if in slow motion, he sunk his head onto Will's shoulder, who stiffed in an instant. 

Stephen's head shot up.

"Sorry", he apologised, "I got tired. I uh..." 

He was lost for words. 

Frankly, Will felt much colder without the weight of Stephen's head on his shoulder, and he'd only frozen because it was so unexpected. Never did he think that Stephen would express any sort of affection for him, even just through a small act as that. 

"No, Stephen, don't apologise. I was just surprised", Will said, almost whispering. 

Stephen uttered a near inaudible 'okay' before scooting closer to Will. 

"Is this...I forgot to bring a jacket."

Will nodded enthusiastically, putting his arm around Stephen as a natural reflex. 

"Oh no, he thought, he shouldn't've done that, he shouldn't've done that-

Waiting for Stephen's disgusted response, it was silent. Then, anticipation let Will down in the best manner possible, because Stephen didn't leave or yell at him at all. 

As a matter of fact, Stephen showed signs of reciprocation as he nuzzled more into Will's side.

Will's breath was shaky. This was further than he ever thought he'd go with Stephen. 

His fingers as still as he could manage, Will resumed to trim and adjust the penultimate part of the video. He almost didn't want to finish, especially when Stephen- presumably absentmindedly, because there's no way he ever would consciously- fiddled with a piece of Will's shirt. 

Will closed and put aside his laptop with only the outro remaining to be edited. 

Darkness engulfed their youth into something unknown. 

It was a new playing field.


	2. Chapter 2

"Aren't you going to edit the outro?" Stephen asked under his breath. 

"I, well", Will was still distracted by Stephen twisting that little part of his shirt, right by his abdomen, around his finger, "thought you were cold and wanted to go home". 

Stephen seemed to consider for a while, then took an audibly louder breath. Just as Will's neural networks transferred signals to wonder why, Stephen's upper body straightened out, and his limbs moved so that he somehow, a few short seconds later, was sitting in between Will's legs, facing outwards, and moving the laptop onto his own lap. He was small enough so that Will could easily see.

That Will had at all spread his legs during the whole ordeal was unbeknownst to him, but he wasn't complaining. Quite the contrary, actually. Stephen's small body fit so perfectly into his, and though he was essentially framing Stephen with his legs and upper body, he'd never felt safer. He'd never felt closer to the other boy, either. Thus, when Stephen leaned his head back and made himself comfortable, Will's heart rate accelerated beyond what he thought was humanly possible. Had he studied medicine instead of engineering he would have perhaps diagnosed himself with tachycardia, though that was a canny dumb diagnosis anyway, because here he was, a felt eternity later, alive and well. 

Very well.

He realised now that he hadn't said anything the entire time, and that maybe Stephen was beginning to feel that he made a horrible faux pas, as evidenced by the ginger's tensing of muscles.

Without saying a word, Will opened the laptop and began editing the outro. It was a gesture of acceptance. He knew that Stephen would know he agreed with this position, and felt that words had the potential to shatter the comfort or emotions within them. 

It was as if the world around them had failed to continue its existence. Everything else was long forgotten as the pair grew more and more sure of themselves, Stephen leaning his head back onto Will's slowing heart- a great sign of comfort- and Will himself moving his arms closer around Stephen's fragile waist. 

To him, the ginger was the most precious thing in the world. 

As expected, finishing the video didn't bring a bit of the usual happiness or sense of pride. All it did was fill Will with worry that Stephen would get up and leave, realising what a mistake it was to lead Will on, to indicate anything more than a purely platonic relationship. Once again Stephen didn't live up to Will's expectations. No language of mankind could describe the wave of emotion that washed over Will. 

As slowly as manageable, Will closed his laptop, and once again it was dark. 

Now or never, he thought as he put it onto the table next to him, and wrapped his arms over Stephen's chest. He inhaled the scent of shampoo and perfume like it was his last dying- but still discrete- breath, just cherishing the feeling of what he could only describe as home. 

Indeed he was sure of it now, more than ever before. With Stephen is where he was most at home. This was his paradise: just the two of them, close enough to share warmth in the cold, beautiful situation that they were submerged in. 

"Will"

Stephen breathed out his name more than he spoke them. 

"Do you want to go home?"

Will did want that, though he felt so heartbroken to let Stephen out of the safety in his lap that he had to compensate somehow. So, Will planted a quick kiss onto the top of Stephen's head, hoping that this wasn't moving too fast for the other's taste. He wasn't. 

Stephen turned around on Will's lap, now facing him, and locked their eyes together, and though the room was only dimly lit by the occasional light from outside, their connection was made of sparks softer than any cloud. 

Their lines of sight met perfectly; it was meant to be this way. Will cupped Stephen's face and brought them even closer together. 

By now they were sharing the same few millilitres of air, practically on the verge of melting into each other. 

Will was the one to break the unbearable tension- anticipation- as he almost launched himself forwards and kissed Stephen with more passion than he'd ever kissed before. 

Their lips moved in unison, and as their eyes immediately fell close, the boys held onto each other for reassurance, for this was new to both of them; even though their kissing was slow and steady, it meant and felt like so much more than anything they had done before. Undoubtedly it was the butterflies in Will's stomach that had spread to his brain, as he was dizzy and anxious and so so happy all at the same time while he kissed Stephen in hopes of never stopping. He did though, but only once his lungs were screaming for oxygen. 

They pulled apart reluctantly. 

Breathlessness.

The room was frozen in fire.

"Will", Stephen said again, just as quietly as before, "please tell me you meant that". 

"I mean this more than words could ever say".

Will's fast respiratory recovery granted him the opportunity to reconnect their lips, an opportunity that he seized as soon as it was there. 

Once again they were catapulted into a heavenly cloud of ecstasy, feeling more freed than a sky-roaming songbird in the middle of that month of May. 

It was beautiful. 

It felt so right. 

Will's thoughts were incoherent, as the feeling of Stephen's lips pressing firmly and purposefully against his own rendered him a slave to passion. They forgot about time or their intention to go home only until they'd kissed so much that their cheeks were flushed bright red and their lips were plump and parted, allowing for air to be sucked into their lungs as fast as possible so that they could do it again. 

If it weren't for the slightly compromising possibility of Brian walking in on them the next morning (he liked to spend the next morning after a shoot resetting the studio and cameras to default), they would have stayed all night, just cherishing the long suppressed joy of each other's presence and closeness.

Will took both of Stephen's hands and have him a last, short kiss before proposing, "let's go home, Ste".

"Please", the other whispered back. 

They got up from the sofa, and Will's right hand never let go of Stephen's left as they locked and left the room to be met by the cool breeze of London's night.


	3. Chapter 3

When they arrived at Will's flat they were soaked, not with water, but harsh wind (why was it so cold at this time of the year anyway?) and love alike. The only thing that remained warm was their firmly locked hands. Will had resorted to a miniature gesture of affection as he moved his thumb back and forth every now and again, Stephen smiling at him as he did so. They knew that more affection in the streets of London at night could warrant unwanted outcomes, which was a highly unpleasant thought, but one that they had to keep in mind. 

The lock of his door fell firmly in place with a loud click, and both of them sighed. 

Relief.

Excitement, perhaps.

As unexpected as it was, Will wholeheartedly welcomed the sudden hug that Stephen instigated. It was an entirely different experience from kissing, but one that was equally sweet. 

Just like at the XO HQs, but with much more confidence, Will kissed the top of Stephen's head. The latter took comfort in being the smaller one. Especially coming out of a few alleys now, ones that made his hands clench harder and his breathing speed up from the memory of being mugged, he appreciated nothing more than the purity of Will's heart so close to his own. 

The moment that they pulled apart, Will took Stephen by the hand again and led him to his bedroom. Sure, Stephen had seen it before, both in videos and real life when he needed something while he was staying over, but never had he stepped over the threshold knowing that he was going to stay. He was going to stay with Will.

Once they were there, in Will's bed, under the blankets, Will felt profound anxiety on what to do next. He didn't want to do 'it' with Stephen. 

Well, he did, he did a lot, but not tonight. 

As he looked over to said man, the reciprocity was obvious. Will smiled. It was genuine.

"Come here", he asked both with his mouth and open arms. 

Stephen gladly took his place, resuming listening to Will's steady heartbeat as he nuzzled into his chest. Will squeezes Stephen's arms, and hoped that this wasn't a dream. If it was, he never wanted to wake up from it. As Stephen fell asleep the lullaby of small even breaths as well as the feeling of his chest slowly expanding then falling back in Will's arms was indescribable. 

Will believed that it wasn't just the blankets that gave them warmth that night. 

He knew that when they woke up, he'd kiss Stephen good morning, maybe twice or even three times (he was at complete liberty now), they'd stay in bed for hours and hours just enjoying each other's presence like they were before, and he'd be freed from the dark chain- the distrust in the possibility of Stephen feeling like he did- holding him back from full happiness. 

As he held onto Stephen with all of his overflowing heart, he let himself drift off to sleep as well. Now, no words were necessary to confirm what they were experiencing, but Will liked to think them anyway. 

They were in love.

**Author's Note:**

> If you remotely tolerated this fic, I highly highly recommend you check out FanficIsLove on here, their fics are amazing, seriously!!!! They're also the only I ever felt confident and inspired enough to write about Will and Stephen


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